Shacks Joke Pad
***WARNING*** As the title states this is my Joke Pad. It contains jokes I have collected over the years from all different sources. This blog is for the open minded who dont take offence. If you are offended easily please look else where. This blog is not politically or morally correct it's just me having a laugh and hoping you have a laugh as well. ANY PICTURES OR JOKES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE PLEASE SEND THEM TO- email@example.com
Thursday, January 28, 2010
A man goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the
Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers
the urologist is a very attractive female doctor.
The female doctor says, 'I'm going to check your prostate
today, but this new procedure is a little different from what
you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side,
bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a
deep breath and say, '99'.
The guy obeys and says, '99'!
The doctor says, 'Great. Now turn over on your left side and
again, while I repeat the check, please take a deep breath
and say, '99.'
Again, the guy says, '99.'
The doctor said, 'Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on
your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check
your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm
going to hold on to your penis and your testicles to keep
them out of the way.
Now take a deep breath and say, '99.'
The guy begins, 'One .....................Two .......................Three.....’
Friday, January 01, 2010
A scouser walks into the job centre, marches up to the counter and say's "Hi I'm looking for a job"
The man behind the counter replies " Well weve just got a listing from a wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho duaghter. You'll have to drive around in a merceded, uniform provided. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided and you'll also be required to escort the job lady on holiday. The salary is 200k a years".
The scousers says "Your bullshitting me !"
"Well you fucking started it!" replies the man.....
Two Blokes In A Pub
Two blokes in a pub and one says to the other " I screwed your mum!"
The other bloke doesn't reply.
Again he shouts "I shagged your mum!"
The whole bar turns around to watch/ The other bloke says " Go home dad your pissed!"