Shacks Joke Pad

***WARNING*** As the title states this is my Joke Pad. It contains jokes I have collected over the years from all different sources. This blog is for the open minded who dont take offence. If you are offended easily please look else where. This blog is not politically or morally correct it's just me having a laugh and hoping you have a laugh as well. ANY PICTURES OR JOKES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE PLEASE SEND THEM TO-

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Loving Husband

A man had two of the best tickets for the FA Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

"No", he says, "the seat is empty."

"This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the FA Cup Final, the biggest sporting event of the year, and not use it?"He says,

"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. I guess you couldn't find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbour to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head... "No. They're all at the funeral."

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Blonde Wife

A blonde wife is painting the house, her husband walks in and cant believe she is doing so well. But to his suprise the sweat is dripping off her.

He asks "why are you wearing a leather jacket & a anorak?"

She says " HELLO, read the fucking tin! it says for best results put on 2 coats!"

Fanny Licking Frog

Women sees a sign in a pet shop window-

Fanny Licking Frog £25.

In she goes "I'd like to see a fanny licking frog please"

The man behind the counter says "BONJOUR!"


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