Shacks Joke Pad

***WARNING*** As the title states this is my Joke Pad. It contains jokes I have collected over the years from all different sources. This blog is for the open minded who dont take offence. If you are offended easily please look else where. This blog is not politically or morally correct it's just me having a laugh and hoping you have a laugh as well. ANY PICTURES OR JOKES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE PLEASE SEND THEM TO-

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


A dog goes into a hardware store and says "I'd like a job please"

The shop owner tells him "we dont hire dogs, why dont you go and join the circus?"

The dog replies "what would the circus want with a fucking plumber!"

Saturday, October 18, 2008


Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's Blood everywhere.

The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: 'OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed.'

Sharon: 'Ok.'

Medic: 'How many fingers am I putting up?'

Sharon: 'Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!'

Essex Girl

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car-phone rang.

It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, “Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!”

“It's not just one car!” said the Essex girl, “There's hundreds of them!”

New Job

A man, having applied to join the police force in a small south Texas town, is being interviewed.

The Chief says 'Your qualifications are first-class but there is one test that you must pass before I can recruit you.' Sliding a small bag across the desk, he continues 'Take this gun, go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six suspected felons, and a rabbit.'

The man says 'Why the rabbit?'

'Fantastic attitude!' says the Chief. 'When can you start?'

Friday, October 10, 2008

Saturday, October 04, 2008


85% of Liverpudlian males say they enjoy sex in the shower........

The other 15% haven't been to prison yet


A farmer in Devon has made history by growing a field of dildos!

Unfortunately he's had a lot of trouble with squatters!


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