Shacks Joke Pad

***WARNING*** As the title states this is my Joke Pad. It contains jokes I have collected over the years from all different sources. This blog is for the open minded who dont take offence. If you are offended easily please look else where. This blog is not politically or morally correct it's just me having a laugh and hoping you have a laugh as well. ANY PICTURES OR JOKES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE PLEASE SEND THEM TO-

Thursday, December 25, 2008


Monday, December 15, 2008

At Mass

An elderly couple is attending Mass.

About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'

He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

Sunday, December 14, 2008


A woman standing nude in front of a mirror, says to her husband, "I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment."

He replies, "Your eyesight is perfect."

Love Juice

Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees.

Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, "Dad, what's love juice?"

Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.

Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.

Dad says, "So what were you watching?"

Billy says, " Wimbledon ."

Monday, December 08, 2008


A boy asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?"

Granny replies, "Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!"

New Camera

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.


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