Shacks Joke Pad

***WARNING*** As the title states this is my Joke Pad. It contains jokes I have collected over the years from all different sources. This blog is for the open minded who dont take offence. If you are offended easily please look else where. This blog is not politically or morally correct it's just me having a laugh and hoping you have a laugh as well. ANY PICTURES OR JOKES YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE PLEASE SEND THEM TO-

Sunday, July 22, 2007


A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She wasdetermined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew alot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done! a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night. He returned around 2:30am , and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her."Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said: "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!”

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Little Billy

Little Billy asks his dad for a TV in his room. He reluctantly agrees.

The next day Billy comes down stairs and says ' Dad whats love juice ??'

Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.

Billy sits there with his mouth open in amazement.

Dad says 'so what were you watching' ?

Billy says ' Wimbledon' !!


Bloke wants his 70yr old wife dead so he goes to ask a killer how to do it.

The killer tells him 'i would shoot her below the left nipple'.

Bloke replies ' i want her fucking dead not knee-capped' !!


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