Lost His No Claims Bonus

Women

Why do women love men who have been circumcised?

They cant resist something with 20% off!

Ventriloquist

A ventriloquist is visiting Wales when he stumbles across a small village and decides to have some fun. Approaching a man on his porch patting his dog, he says “Can I talk to your dog?”

The villager just laughs at him and says “are you stupid? The dog can’t talk!”

“Are you sure?” ask the ventriloquist. Turning to the dog he says “Hello mate how’s it going?” “I’m doing fine” replies the dog. At this the villager looks shocked.

“Is this your owner?”

“Yep” replies the dog

“How does he treat you?” ask the ventriloquist.

“Really well, he walks me twice a day and feeds me good food” states the dog.

Ventriloquist then say’s to the villager “Mind if I speak to your sheep?”

In a panic the villager say’s “The sheep is a fucking liar!!”