Airport Scanner

Essex Girl

Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, 'How dare you call me a
slapper, get out of my bed right now and take your f****ing mates with you'

Hmmmmmmm

What is the medical term for the fatty tissue surrounding the clitoris?

The wife.

Stand Up

Had my first Gig as a stand up comedian at an old people's home last
night.

They didn't get any of my jokes but they still pissed themselves.

Un PC

Boy comes home and tells his parents he has just had sex for the first
time.

The proud Dad says 'I'll buy you a bike to celebrate, but you will have to
wait until next pay day"

the boy replies 'that's alright Dad, my arse is too sore to ride it anyway'