Scotsman

A Glaswegian walks into a pub, notices a very large jar on the counter and sees it's filled to the brim with £10 notes.

He guesses there must be thousands of pounds in it. He approaches the barman and asks, "What's up with the jar?"

"Well, you pay £10 and if you pass three tests you get all the money."

The Glaswegian certainly isn't going to pass up this chance. "What are the three tests?"

"Pay first, those are the rules." says the barman. So the man gives him the £10 and the barman drops it into the jar.

"OK," the barman says, "here's what you need to do..."

"...First, you have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing all at once and you can't make a face while doing it..."
"...Second, there's a pit bull chained-up outside with a sore tooth, you have to remove the tooth with your bare hands..."
"...Third, there's a 90-year-old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You've gotta make things right for her."

The tough Glaswegian is stunned. "I know I paid my £10, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You have to be bonkers to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things...."

"It's up to you," says the barman, "but your money stays where it is."

As time goes on the man has a few drinks, then a few more... Then he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.
Next, he staggers outside where the pit bull is chained-up, and soon all the people inside the bar hear a noisy scuffle going on outside. They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping, and then... silence.
Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body.

"Now," he says..."Where's the old woman with the sore tooth?"