Little Old Lady

Defense Attorney:Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady:I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney:Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?Little Old Lady:There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:Did you know him?
Little Old Lady:No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady:He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady:No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:Why not?
Little Old Lady:It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:What happened next?
Little Old Lady:He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady:No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:Why not?
Little Old Lady:His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that goodin years!

Defense Attorney:What happened next?
Little Old Lady:Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him"Take me, young man. Take me now!"

Defense Attorney:Did he take you?
Little Old Lady:Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the fucking little bastard.