THE DRUNK

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the restroom.
A few moments later a loud, blood, curdling scream is heard coming from the restroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberated through the bar.

The bartender goes to the restroom door to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells."You're scaring the customers."

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my testicles!"

With that, the bartender opens the door and says, "You pissed up idiot!! You're sitting on the mop bucket!!"