O'Malley

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."

O'Malley was shocked, but managed to compose himself and walked into the waiting room, where his son had been waiting. "Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things aren't well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head to the pub and have a few pints."

After 3 or 4 pints, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more pints. They were eventually approached by some of O'Malley's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. O'Malley told his friends they were drinking to his impending end.

"I have been diagnosed with AIDS". The friends gave O'Malley their condolences and they had a few more pints.
After the friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over and whispered, "Dad, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS."

O'Malley said, "Correct. I don't want any of them sleeping with your Mother after I'm gone."