Swearing Nun
A nun was sitting with her Mother Superior chatting.
"Mother Superior, I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."
"When did you use this awful language?" asked the elder.
"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that was going to go 280 yards, but it struck a phone line over the fairway and straight down to the ground after only 100 yards."
"And that's when you swore?"
"No, Mother," says the nun. After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."
"And THAT'S when you swore?" asked the Mother Superior.
"Well, no," says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"Is THAT when you swore?" asked the amazed elder nun.
"No. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior impatiently.
"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green and stopped about six inches from the hole."
The two nuns were silent for a moment.
Mother Superior sighed, "You missed the f**king putt, didn't you?"
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